Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
