She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
