i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
he thought i was a dude.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
