chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
