I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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