i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
