no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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