Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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