**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
