i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
