some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
