thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize