if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My cat gives me a boner
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
