I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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