I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
