He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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