I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
