after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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