Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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