it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
