i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
