Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
How's work?
Spinning.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
