Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
