If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
