and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize