He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
