she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
