No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
