is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
