Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
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