I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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