Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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