i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize