you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
