I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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