so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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