I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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