i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
