We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize