do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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