I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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