I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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