You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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