Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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