Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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