she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
