She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
