So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
