I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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