Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and she was petting her beer can
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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