And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
