I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
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Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
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Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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