i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize