It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
