Banned from zoo.
Again?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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