Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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