Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
