We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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