that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He? As in you personified your dick?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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