I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
