There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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