have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
