Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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