We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
