addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
nutella sex= disaster
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
