some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
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