We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
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Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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